Review from Slimetime: A Guide to Sleazy, Mindless Movies
By Steven Puchalski

From Draculina Cine comes this demented little production – a gory porno (‘Gorno?’) featurette that should knock the crusty shorts off of the sick fuck contingent. Did I like it, you might ask? Hell no! It’s crude, amateurish and unimaginative, but it’s also a high-concept sleazebag crowd-pleaser. Short, to-the-point, and almost unwatchable for anyone with an IQ in the triple digits. This Italian import comes undubbed and unsubtitled, but come to think of it, anyone interested in this vile little video could care less about luxuries such as dialogue. There’s no wasting time in this raunch-o-rama either. For the first ten minutes a horny young couple fuck in front of a video camera after the guy gives his date a dose of Sexplosion (sort of Spanish Fly squared). There’s the usual procession of flesh tones: Her tits, his hairy-butt, their legs and arms intertwined, plus close-ups of him sipping from her fuzzy cup and then getting a blow job, and both of ’em endlessly grinding away. It’s tedious, repetitious dreck for the mutton-flogging crowd.
At least the second half is more exciting (though no less worthless). The next morning, he’s all limp and tired while she’s ready for more action. So what does she do? She gives her unsuspecting beau a king-sized syringe-full of Sexplosion aphrodisiac, straight into a vein. Well, to make a dumb story short, the injection causes the guy to go bug-eyed psychotic. His face gets blotchy, he growls like a bear, and his dick turns into a foot-and-a-half long purple sausage that oozes McDonald’s special sauce. After dirving a pair of scissors through her tongue in true Herschell Gordon Lewis fashion (in other words, totally unbelievable) he ends up pulling his own penis off…Well? That’s entertainment?! Starring the forgettable (at least I hope I forget ’em) Rrose Selavy and Paul St. Pauli, and directed by Denni Lugi and Paolo Montanari (you mean it took two brains to come up with this?), whose innovative technique amounts to using a fish-eye lens during the murder. Is there anything good to say about it? Well, the bathroom tiles were nice. Plus on the bill (yep, there’s more! Aren’t we the lucky masochists?) is NIGHTMARE CLUB starring Samantha Fearson. It’s a one-take-coupla-minuter in which a homely stripp pulls off more than her clothes – eventually unzipping her stomach and tossing her innards to the crowd. At least this one was quick… If you’re gonna add these to your video collection, file ’em right in between ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE SS and SUBMIT TO ME.


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