John Stagliano – How to Enlarge Your Penis (1985)
Written and directed by John “Buttman” Stagliano, this phallocentric gem features coked-up gay ’80s porn star Scott Taylor addressing the camera and waxing philosophical, medical, sexual and technical about the penis pump he’s shilling, while gazing at his swollen dick and describing his special relationship with it.
Taylor’s commentary is the funniest thing you have ever heard. Despite its mere 15-minute length, there are more quotable quotes than in the first two Godfather films. For a drinking game, take a shot every time Scott says the words “pump,” “pumping,” “pumpers,” “pump scene,” “pump activities,” etc., and you and your fellow pumpers will soon be dead from acute alcohol poisoning.