Emilio Portici – The Water People (1973)
Mark and Mason are, apparently, The Water People. “We go swimming a lot here,” one of them says. As far as the Deviate could make out however, they’re a pair of bullshit artists who luck out bigtime when gullible nympho salesgirls ring their doorbell. “My wife’s not home,” Mark says. Of course, there is no wife, but since the girls are selling women’s products… Well, you get the idea.
The first salesgal, who identifies herself as Carol Kaiser (and is played by CAROL CONNORS, a.k.a. Carol Kaiser) sells cosmetics. Two other salesgals, selling lingerie, come (and cum) later. Mark and Mason ask for demonstrations which inevitably wind up in the bedroom. These demos show little about the merchandise they’re selling but a lot about the merchandise they’re giving away free…
Fans of Miss Connors will enjoy this early effort which shows that she possessed the right stuff from the very beginning. Her overbite blowjobs are especially exciting, and her natural blonde pussy looks heaven-made for a heavy dick. The nameless lingerie salesgals throw themselves into the “demonstrations” with zest and when was the last time you saw zest in a porno movie? Ah, what a falling off there’s been… For those who don’t remember, this will remind you of the way we were…
The poetic, almost haiku-like Zenish title of the second feature, Wet Rain Drops, may refer to the jiz that drizzles over the soft female flesh in the many cum shots, the pearl-like pussy dew that glistens on tender labia in the many masturbatory closeups, or perhaps the difference between dry rain drops and the ordinary kind. The Deviate is at a loss to say.
Whatever it means, a blonde angel named Barbara (ALICE BIGGE) lounges in her La-La-Land bed longing for male companionship. She places calls to a couple of guys she knows but they’re engaged at the moment: Don (unfortunately not the Deviate) is receiving cosmic head from some Nirvanic Asian nymph (whose tantric attentions registered at cataclysmic levels on the Deviate’s Dickter Scale), while Paul (RIC LUTZE) is pulling double-duty with a pair of California free spirits, one of whom is the very soul of All-American cuddly cutie-pie-in-the-skydollhood.
While horny Barbara waits, she rubs her little blonde pussy and fantasizes about getting schtupped. Eventually, Don shows up with a sleazy buddy and our angel baby gets “two big cocks” in a d.p. scene of extraordinary sensitivity.
Almost haiku-like. Or Zenish.
—Don the Deviate. America Moralia